Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize