So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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