I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
