i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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