did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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