sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
