He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
