ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
