i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
