Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize