and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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