Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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