I wannas sexs uuuuu
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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