He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
