Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
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I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
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I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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