you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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