Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
