i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
