I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
