chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
