whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is Oprah even human
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
