I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize