I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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