ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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