Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize