Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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