booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
