Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
