ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize