Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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