I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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