When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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