I need to stop coming to work sober
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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