I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
