dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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