i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
