what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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