garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
