You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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