peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
