So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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