Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

oh yeah... my b.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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(510): View more from California

I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.

(240): View more from Maryland

Sorry, who is this??

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(949): View more from California

Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again

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