I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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