I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
