Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize