Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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