I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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