Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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