is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was like eating out sand paper
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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