now i know why i became what i already was.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
