What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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