we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
