he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
