I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
