i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
