We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
