Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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